Infertility? What’s next…

The question now becomes: do we fall into this category…

Almost three years ago I posted a story called “Trying Again”. In that post I talk about getting the clearance to begin trying for baby number 2. We are now past Matthew’s third birthday and I am not pregnant.

Some might say well don’t lose faith, it will happen when it is supposed to, you’re too stressed, you need to eat better, have you tried x,y, and z….

I’m here to tell you, yes I have cleaned up my diet, almost completely eliminated caffeine, sugar, changed most of bread to gluten free and barely eat dairy. I have had most of my hormones checked only to be told they are “within normal range”, expect for the fact that my cycles became only 21 days apart, ovulated would occur between 10-14 and then I would start a new cycle between 8-11 day after that… this got me labeled with PCOS. I am not fully convinced that I have this, but I am trying to act as if I do.

Wait, let me back up a bit for those that haven’t read my other posts. Everything with my cycles were slowly returning to my normal and then in in early 2019 things started to change. In September 2019, it was discovered that I had a 10cm cyst on my left ovary…yes, you read that right 10cm. I had this cyst removed through a laparoscopy that was supposed to only take 45 min, but I ended up being under for 2 hours. This cyst had tangled up my colon, ovary and Fallopian tube. I lost that ovary and tube…

Since then, my cycles have not returned to my normal and have actually become more abnormal.

This year I have been struggling with my body getting back to a regular state especially when it comes to my hormones and cycles. My OB put me on Metformin, even though I ovulate on my own. In December I was supposed to have an initial appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist, but I freaked out and was convinced I wasn’t ready for this step… well I just had my initial appointment this month, and now the research, diagnostic testing and possible exponential costs that comes with the procedures associated with diagnosing what it going on.

After this meeting I was told that I could have PCOS, am anovulatory, or am prematurely starting menopause…

This year will be about trying to find answers and next steps and maintaining hope that I could still have a child, all while preparing myself for the reality that I may not children. The duality of this overwhelming and I am not looking for suggestions on what to do or positive thoughts…

I just wanted to document my thoughts at this point and give more information about where I am at with this journey.